(Hand Cut) Crispy Baked Sweet Potato Shoestring Fries

There are some things I’ll just never be able to grasp. Like physics. Or how the trashcan fills up so fast. Or where all my socks go.
For real folks, I have 18 unpaired socks.
And I’m sorry for them. Being a sock isn’t easy already (especially MY socks). But being an unpaired sock is even worse. Forced to make their own solitary way in a world of pairs.
A beautiful love story of Left + Right that started out in a factory faraway, and that ends in separation.
I held the dryer responsible for all these losses.
Because sometimes socks get lost before and after they go into the laundry, but most of the time it seems like the dryer ate them for a snack.
If you ask around, you'll find that pretty much everybody shares my suspicion for the dryer — evil machine.
Or maybe between the washing machine and the dryer, they run way. There's probably a huge black market in runaway single socks somewhere. Who knows...
Anyways, I have 18 unpaired socks, and I’m holding onto them in hopes that their twins will return from the space wrap before I do my annual sock purge.

Beef A La Sichuan (Low Carb & Gluten-Free)

Apparently all of the food blogosphere is going Cinco de Mayo.
Tacos, burritos, nachos, enchiladas, tostadas, pico de gallo, margaritas, horchatas, you name it.
I mean, take a look at my lad Chris over at Shared Appetite; he’s going berserk over it (in a good way, of course!)
He’s been posting the most amazing Mexican-themed food ever lately. Head over there and be ready to salivate!
But I - being the rebel that I am - refuse to participate in this charade because....well, just because I haven’t cooked any Mexican food in the past few weeks. That’s pretty much it.
I actually CAN’T be part of this Cinco de Mayo bonanza, because I wasn’t smart and organized enough to plan around it. My loss.
So, no Mexican for me.
But I made some tasty Chinese-inspired food though if you’re interested.

High-Protein Zucchini Parmesan

You guys. This is good, like really good. Amazing even!
We’re talking Parmigiana here.
It’s no secret that I’m an eggplant parm kind of guy.
Just like Aristotheles “Give me an eggplant, tomato sauce and Parmesan cheese and I will move the earth!”
OK, not really, but I can certainly make you some badass + low-calorie eggplant parm or some pretty darn tasting roasted eggplant and tomato gratin.
If you’re generous enough and offer me some quinoa, then I can whip you up even a yummy eggplant parm quinoa casserole.
Neat-o.

3-Ingredient Crunchy Strawberry Ice-Cream

One of the things I’ve learned since I started this blog is that NOT everyone’s got a microwave, a blender, a juicer, a slow cooker or an ice-cream maker.
Personally I own all of those kitchen appliances/gadgets, but you probably have a washer-dryer in your apt; I don’t...hence, you win, I lose.
Let me explain...in the City That Never Sleeps the real luxury, the one item that can make all your friends green with envy, the thing that pierces the fantasy of entitlement is owning a washer-dryer.
Like it’s yours and it’s right there, in your apt.
There’s no more descending to the depths of the basement laundry room. Or worst, walking a couple of blocks to a sad laundromat, where (notwithstanding what you see on commercials) there’s never a Victoria’s Secret model waiting for you, stripping to her underwear, throwing her dirty clothes in the washing machine and then hitting on you.
Never happened, never will.
So you fill the washer-dryer void with many kitchen gadgets, and you convince yourself that owning an ice-cream maker is way cooler and 100 times more useful.
Because you know, sometimes it's okay to lie to yourself.

Eggs Baked In Avocado Boats

I first saw this concept on Pinterest a couple of months ago. Since then I haven’t been able to get the image of a baked egg in an avocado boat out of my mind.
Are you big fan of Pinterest? I certainly am. It’s like the greatest place ever on the internet to find inspiration. Although it’s undeniably ruled by women.
According to my friend Denise, girls like Pinterest because they’re so desperate to get away from Facebook.
She says that for girls Facebook isn’t so much of a social network, it’s more of a tool you use to show how much further ahead in life than your friends.
Such as posting when you get a new job, complaining about how stressed you are about your job, taking pictures of your engagement ring, showing that your lunch consists of only 2 lettuce leaves and a dry tomato, posting pictures your mom took of you giving birth (which I’ve just found out you’re not supposed to comment, ever) and posting 400 pictures of that one time you went out in the last four months.
Not the guys are any better; the only reason we use Facebook is to repost things we’ve found on Reddit so that we can look witty, smart and generally badass. Or ranting about sports/politics.
That’s pretty much it.

Chicken Piccata (Low Carb & Gluten-Free)

How many movies do you have on your Netflix queue?
Seriously.
I just checked mine and I have exactly 153.
I guess it will take me about 10 years to catch up on it.
Unless I take a month off from work, veg in bed and binge on movies.
Something that sounds pretty cool, but that I already know will probably drive me mental after the third day.
The funny thing about my Netflix queue is that it’s completely random.
It includes everything from classic sitcoms, 21st century classics, action movies, horror movies chick flicks (?), kid cartoons such as “Dora the Explorer” (??) and even the One Direction's movie — which can either mean that Niece found out my Netflix’s password or that I logged in into my account when I was completely wasted.
For real though, there’s no logic behind that list of movies, at all.
It’s like a 1-year old was left in front of my laptop for an hour and kept on clicking the mousepad. Random.

3-Ingredient (Dairy-Free) Cocoa Mousse

I had a really bad dream two nights ago, more like a nightmare.
I was riding the subway, I had no iPad, iPod, Kindle, book, magazine or even newspaper with me and I sat across from a woman who kept staring at me.
I didn’t want to make eye contact, so I kept looking at the floor. But for some reason (dreams are always weird) I was eventually forced to meet her eyes and she started talking to me.
We had like the most weird conversation ever, which seemed to never end.
Let me tell you, I woke up drenched in sweat and scared as hell.
I mean, engaging in friendly chit-chat on public transportation?
That’s something we just don’t do around here.
I’m sorry, we’re from the City, we are not trusting people!
Okay, okay...I’m exaggerating a tad, but I honestly don’t think I ever said anything, let alone had a conversation to anyone on the subway (who wasn't a friend/acquaintance).

Cauliflower Crust Stromboli

This is me showing you that cauliflower crust is dope.
Dope as in awesome and nasty as in “Yah brah thats sik!”
Shaka sign dope and awesome and sik. Got it?
Because there’s really no end to what you (and I) can do with cauli crust. Like really.
Pizza, calzone, pizzettes, hot pockets, garlic breadsticks and today Stromboli.

Paleofied Banana Pudding

As you may remember, last week I baked a batch of pretty darn awesome (Paleo) Nilla Wafers with just one goal in mind, whip up some banana pudding during the weekend.
Which is what I did.
It turned out great; so great, I offered some of that pudding to a couple of friends I had over for dinner... and before I knew it, there was none left. Like none, nada, zip, zero, zilch.
This, under normal circumstances, is fantastic; there’s no more satisfaction for a cook than seeing no leftovers of the food you offer.
But you see, I hadn’t taken pictures of the banana pudding yet, and in the food blogging world not taking pictures equals to a catastrophe of epic dimensions.
I’m talking about “Release the Kraken!” or Death Star destroying entire planets or the Chitauri fleet invading the Earth, that kind of catastrophe.
Catastrophe as in you have to start all over again from square one.
Buying the ingredients, baking the wafers, assemble pudding, let it rest and then hope, hope there’s still a ray of light outside that will allow you to take decent pictures.
Not great, decent.
Good enough to make you guys wanting to try it out. Because this is the point of this whole site and what I do. Inspire you in making the recipes I create. Right?

(Paleo) Nilla Wafers

As you might have noticed, I have an innate desire to take awesome things and figure out how to make them even more awesome.
Do you know what’s awesome (besides me, cauliflower crust, and basically everything else that I’ve previously declared as such)? Banana pudding.
And do you know what you need to make banana pudding? Nilla Wafers.
And do you know how much crap there is those vanilla cookies that have been around for years? Too much — including stuff like partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil (a trans fat, one of the real villains of nutrition.)